Wednesday, March 3, 2010

*BOING*







That is the sound of me hitting a wall.

I've been doing this "search" now for a little over two months, and I'm going to let you know that the last two weeks have been pretty hard. I wish I could say that I have answers and that I actually totally know what I am doing here, but I don't. What's holding me back?

1. Everyone I know does the same thing - While I love my friends, most of them are lawyers, work in non-profits or are professors with a few in government and medicine. Maybe I'm not pestering them enough, but many of them don't seem to know anyone who works in a few of the areas I'm examining for my transition. Is this is a product of people in similar careers socializing together or maybe I've got an uncreative group of friends? :) Remember my disdain for networking? Well I am still getting over it albeit pretty slowly. I've got a couple of informational interview-like "talks" lined up, but there are lots of real world experiences that I want to ask people about and can't without some more contacts. I'll keep chipping away and trying to break through. Granted, it probably doesn't help that I haven't told some of my friends either. Maybe I should work on that. :)

2. I can see the good and bad in everything - This is supposed to be a good thing right? Unfortunately, my legal education has given me the ability to see the good and bad in just about every possible situation and that includes career choices. While I may find something like real estate development intriguing and do have some kind of a background in it, I don't know if I would really want to work in a career that's very numbers based. I am fighting the urge (and my bad habit) to have this paralyze me completely into inaction 'cause I surely would let that happen. I've been working through my paralysis with my "friend" Monica (who I'll describe later), but right now this seems to be the biggest challenge for me.

3. Everything seems interesting - That should make my process easier, but it doesn't. You see I was the type of kid who read the TV Guide (the articles, not the actual TV listings!), so I have always been an information hoarder. I can get interested in a topic quite easily. I guess I maybe I am exaggerating here. I don't find everything under the sun interesting, but amongst my career possibilities it's hard to distinguish between what's fun and games and what's my true next career or job. Many of the career advice pieces and books that I've been reading talk about finding your "PASSION." If I read that word one more time, I think I might keel over!!!! I actually I'll talk about passion or lack thereof (or having the same passion as everyone else) in another post.

4. I think I'm already tired - Yep. It pains me to write this, but I think I am ALREADY tired of this process, which is hysterical to me. It's only been two months! What the heck am I complaining about? Perhaps this is also a symptom of the winter doldrums as well. I did start doing this in the dead of what has been both a snowy and cold NYC winter. That means a lot of grays days, inside my apartment in my PJs trying to stay warm without very much human interaction for a long period of time. Maybe warmer weather will help? I always find reading in the park or outside in my balcony more comforting than down ten cups of tea to stay warm. I'm also going to easy on myself and remind little 'ol me that this process is also emotionally draining. Thinking about the future and not really knowing what to do next can be overwhelming and downright taxing for someone like me who thrives on direction and focus.

At this point, I'm fighting to get break through the wall. Luckily, I've got a trip to Las Vegas coming up this week to take my mind off of things. Walking around aimlessly and staring at hotel monstrosities should do the trick, right?


When you hit an emotional wall in your life, what do you do? Suggestions welcome!

P.S. Thanks for those out there who are reading. I appreciate you, and hope that you'll stay with me on this journey. I also won't take a month off again, or at least try not to. :)

3 comments:

Ali N. said...

I hear you on the passion thing. I like my current job, but I wouldn't have what you call a passion, at least not in the way that other friends and family are driven by the love of what they do for a living.

We should definitely chat in Vegas!

Mrs. Hot Cocoa said...

I could have written this post (albeit not as eloquently). I started sending out resumes and cover letters this week. Figured I should just take the plunge.

lavenderpug said...

as the others, i can totally relate to my post. what is my passion? what if i don't have one? maybe i'm not the type of person where my career will be a passion? everything seems interesting and annoying at the same time. for me, i think i'm partly paralyzed by fear of trying something new and having it fail.