Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Thirty-Something Nothing? Maybe Not...

Why did I name this blog "Tales of a Thirty Something Nothing?" Well, it's kinda complicated, but ain't it completely. First of all, some lady who doesn't blog very often already took DAMN YOU! :) But seriously, I don't have self-esteem problems. I also try to practice gratefulness, although that's not going so well lately.
I've got so many wonderful things in my life: a great husband and healthy, sweet albeit occasionally crazy family (okay, just my Mom), a lovely home, and the ability to pay my student loans on time each month. Who could ask for anything more?

SO why do I actually feel like I am Thirty Something Nothing? Well, I've done most of what you're supposed to do when it comes to life but especially career, and I woke up about a month ago, a recent newlywed, a relatively "successful" person by society's standards...but not to me. For the first time in my life I don't know what I want to be when I grow up, but this time the joke's on me. I'm a grown up! I would like to think that professionally I would have at least found a groove, a calling, a career or even a job that I actually like, but instead I've gone the opposite route. Right now I'm in my first job as a recovered lawyer, and I surely don't like it (more on that later). I've got no sure path and no real direction. For someone who naively declared at nine years-old that she wanted to be a lawyer and actually did become one, not knowing what to do next is pretty frightening.

All of this is pretty embarrassing to me. I'm 32! Not 23! Shouldn't I have figured this all out by now?! More importantly, why don't I have a plan, a path or a faint idea of what to do? I don't do well looking bad in front of others, but perhaps being public about my struggle will help light a fire under me.

So I'm inviting you on a journey with me as I figure out what I am going to do with my professional life. I don't want this blog to be a major whine-fest 'cause who the heck wants to read that? If anything, it will be my observations about my work/professional life as it changes literally on the daily; and maybe some things about being a newlywed ('cause you can only be prepared so much for marriage). I'll also share what I am learning about myself and my relationship to work

This journey will not always be pretty, and I'll try to be as honest as I can. Please stick with me. I'll need some company.

Thanks for coming along for the ride.