Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Should I Stay or Should I Go?/The Difference Between Time vs. Money

I haven’t written in awhile not because there is anything to write. In fact, there’s too much.

I have a lot on my mind and one of the biggest being whether or not I should quit my job. Yes, I just wrote that. Yes, I know that we’re in the worst recession since the Great Depression and that many people are clamoring for a job right now. I work in government, so I know how bad the economy is (It's bad, my people). Yes, you're never supposed to leave a job without having another lined up. I know all of the job "rules." I am still talkin' “crazy,” and I really don't care how irrational it may sound.

Right now, I'm at the point where I'm sometimes up at night staring at the ceiling thinking about where I'm supposed to be next. I get random little mini-anxiety attacks in the middle of the day. What happens if I leave? What if I don't find a job for a year or more? What will possible future employers say about me leaving this job so soon after I've started? What will I do with all of that time especially since for the first time since being 5 years-old I have no frickin' idea what I would do? Plain and simple, would leaving result in me FUBAR-ing my career?

Because I make lists for darn near everything (do you think I can paid for that?), I made a pros and cons list about leaving my job.

Staying at Ye Olde Job until July/October

Pros

Cons

1. I will have a job and income until July or October

1. I will spend another year doing something that I am uninterested topically/not moving forward. I feel like I am wasting my time.


2. It looks good to have two years (or close to two years) on the job for the resume. Employers will not ask as many questions.

2. If Jim (my husband and not his real name) and I are thinking about trying to have kids at some point in the next couple of years, I want to be established in a new job before we do so.



Leaving in December if I DO NOT have a job of any kind

Pros

Cons

1. I will have full time to look for what I want to do. Possibly take courses, etc.

1. We will have considerably less income or savings coming in


2. I will not have to live somewhere else/travel for a half year

2. With this economy no idea how long it will take me to get another job


3. I will not have to deal with Boss Lady and this stupid department

3. Depending on how long it takes to find a job, I will need to explain to prospective employers about only being at my job for 14 months.


By leaving now, I avoid the the weekly travel for six months out of the year that is an integral part of my job and that wrings the life out of me. Work travel doesn't have to be all that bad. I know lots of people do it. Here's why it sucks for me:
1. I can't move around on my own - I live in a city with public transport and travel each week to a suburban place. The only real way I have to get around is with my coworkers in our car. That means I eat where they eat, and I go where they go.

2. We're not exactly going to the most interesting of place each week. I go to the same place. There's not much there to do. Sorry to say it, but it's the truth.

3. I miss my friends, my husband and my home. That's pretty damn important.

In the end this decision boils down to time and money. Am I willing to sacrifice the time that I will spend working at a job that is not pushing me in the right direction for the security of income and piling up time on my resume? In some ways, I feel like time is something that I will never get back.

By the way, did I tell you I would need to give my notice in a week at the latest? Oh yeah....that too.

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